Yo Momma Jokes
by wquueu
Summary: These are the jokes the black boys would tell about other people's mothers...just cruel.


1 Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise

2 Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

3 Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

4 Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

5 Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

6 Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

7 Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it

8 Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued

9 Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock

10 Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

11 Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

12 Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

13 Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

14Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

15 Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar

16 Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

17Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

18 Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

19Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!

20 Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

21Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

22 Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep

23 Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets

24 Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up

25Yo momma so fat she influences the tides

26 Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas

27 Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her

28 Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips

29 Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

30Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones

31 Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

32 Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps

33 Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes

34 Yo momma so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs

35 Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

36 Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

37 Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard

38 Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean

39Yo momma so fat that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

40 Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona - class Battleship

41 Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons

42 Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her

43 Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!

44 Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get off!

45 Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!

46 Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development

47 Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

48Yo momma so stupid it took her half an hour to make minute rice

49 Yo momma so stupid she threw a brick at the floor and missed

50 Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

51 Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

52 Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

53 Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

54 Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

55 Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

56 Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

57 Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

58 Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

59 Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

60 Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice

61Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

62 Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out

63Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check

64Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back

65Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train

66Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif

67Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

68Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

69Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

70Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice

71Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up

72Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain

73Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes

74Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book

75Yo momma so stupid it takes her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus

76Yo momma so stupid it takes her a day to cook a 3 minute egg

77Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper

78Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home

79Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's

80Yo momma so stupid she called information to get the number for 911

81Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals"

82Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it"

83Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies

84Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

85Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween

86Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

87Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her

88Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday

89Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects

90Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry

91Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours for a quote!

92Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

93Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

94Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

95Yo momma so ugly Ted Danson wouldn't date her!

96Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

97Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

98Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween

99Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away

100Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound

101Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye

102Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow

103Yo momma so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water

104Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died

105Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!

106Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class

107Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it

108Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince

109Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals

110Yo momma so nasty she made Speed Stick slow down

111Yo momma so nasty she made Right Guard turn left

112Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

113Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater

114Yo momma so nasty she made Sure confused

115Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

116Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea

117Yo momma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and yo momma

118Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza

119Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind

120Yo momma breath so bad when she yawns her teeth duck

121Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray

122Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice

123Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound

124Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it

125Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone

126Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on

127Yo momma twice the man you are

128Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo

129Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9

130Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear

131Yo momma middle name is Rambo

132Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna push me 'round no more"

133Yo momma so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals

134Yo momma is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS"


End file.
